Wow, I miss writing. I think since starting Manic & Medicated (my podcast) I've really found the creative side of me again. I just breathe differently. I feel different. I don't have it all figured out. I don't always know the right thing to say. But I just feel different and I like it. I like knowing that I can create something from the darkness I feel and no longer feel this shame. This burden. This moment where I need to hide. Sure I'm still struggling with anxiety - but it's different. I feel good. I feel. I'm alive. I love it. So, here's some poetry... for old times sake.
My Work
Passion is not something you find
It finds you
It seeks you out
It's incredible
It's profound
It's indescibable
The day I found my passion, I found part of me.
Hide & Seek
Hiding behind a 9-5
Pretending I'm fine
Speaking my pain into existence
Hold me close and listen
My pain is real
My focus is out of touch
My reality is soul
My keeper is hush
I'm tired
I'm tired of pretending
There is no standard
There's just me vs me
Why do we pretend in reality
Rest - that's enough
Lack Of
Happiness is not in the way that I look
I eat to control the narrative
If I get bigger I won't get attention
But I do and I get angry
Why?
Why am I so angry with attention
Why am I having issues with men?
I need to figure it out - they're not a sin
Just love you and dive in
Dive deeper into my soul
Figure out why it's dark
This part that's got a hold
You're controlling things
Let it go...
Morph yourself as much as you like
You're still the same girl - it's alright.
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