Hi loves/single people/the good/the bad/the ugly,
It's that time of year again - Valentine's Day is approaching! I feel like as soon as Christmas leaves us we get punched in the face with Valentine's Day. You're either scrambling right now to get your girl or guy something special, making those perfect dinner reservations, or you're dodging the "holiday" all together. Maybe you've only been dating someone for a solid week, and you don't want to look like a serial killer, or you just hate the idea of the day in general.
Whatever.
But guess what?
I literally don't give a f*ck what you do. What you will do. Or what you have planned.
And reality check, nobody else does either.
I know that's super harsh, but it's the truth. Nobody will ever say, "Oh, I really wonder what Karen got this year. Hope John got her those roses and chocolates like she asked for." They're just not. And if they are, they need a psych evaluation.
In my early 20s, Valentine's Day was so important to me. It was all or nothing. I had these weird, unrealistic expectations that my man would drop to his knees, give me exotic flowers, and drive me to some expensive ass restaurant. MAYBE he'd propose to me in a full restaurant, and I would show everyone on Facebook the following day and be like, "OH MY GOD, my life is so extravagant and perfect...". Like shut up, stop judging me. No, judge me, because what in the actual f*ck... I DON'T KNOW - Obviously, not a real person. I was young.
Now I'm 27, not engaged, still in college - and YES I do live with my mom. So, clearly that dream never come to fruition. And I'm really glad it didn't.
I know what you're probably thinking... I'm a desperate, sad soul, who's single as f*ck? Surprise bitch, I'm not. This will actually be "our" first Valentine's Day together, and I don't know what to expect really. Honestly, anything he does or doesn't do won't upset me. I think putting almost no expectations on things is better. Valentine's Day isn't the make or break in our relationship.
Sure, who wouldn't want their favorite flowers, maybe some Mexican food, and a heart felt card... I would. But if I don't get it, will it matter? Probably not to be honest. I'll love my man regardless. He doesn't have to jump through hoops to make me happy. And as I sit here and think about why he makes me happy - Valentine's Day seems less important.
I think watching him cook me food on a random Tuesday, while I sip on some wine, while he also dances with the dog, makes me happy. When he texts me something funny, in the middle of a stressful day, that makes me happy. When he drives me crazy while he talks through a whole movie, only because he wants me to like it just as much as he likes it, it's annoying... but it makes me happy. Plus I'm annoying as f*ck, and he'll probably tell you that. When he sends me a video compilation of me eating, because he thinks it's hysterical to catch me off guard, that makes me happy. When he wants to take pictures of me even though I tell him repeatedly I look ugly, that makes me happy. When he sticks up for me when I'm not around, that makes me happy.
See I know I'm lucky in a lot of ways. My relationship is not perfect, nor would I want it to be. I could brag about all the amazing things he does for me, but I won't. That wouldn't matter to him, and I don't deem it necessary.
BUT as I've grown older I've seen what this holiday does to people.
It breaks people's hearts.
It disappoints souls.
It makes unrealistic expectations.
It causes arguments that are BEYOND superficial.
It is childish to MAKE someone get you a gift - grow the f*ck up.
It's stupid.
BUT, and there is a but, I do kind of love it. I think it can be special, and sweet, and sentimental, and a moment to just really be like, "Hey, just so you know, I love you."
I think we need to all get our heads out of our asses though, and realize that the attention and love you crave may not be what your significant other is capable of. You need to have expectations that are reasonable, and stop expecting another person to do things for you that you'd never do for them. Just take a moment to realize what is important.
While I hope everyone has a great day on the 14th; try to unplug, I think with age and maturity we tend to figure out that blasting a relationship on social media isn't important, and keeping those who are special to us, close to our hearts, is the top priority. Stop posting pictures of your stupid ass gifts, and cards with very special, sweet and vulnerable words written in them. Keep something, anything... sacred for just the two of you. Stop inviting people to comment on, and be so involved in your relationship. Have something for just the two of you.
I used to be that girl - I wanted to just shout everything from the rooftops. I wanted to post every single picture. But I refuse to do that. I don't feel the need to do that. I have nothing to prove, and neither do you. Not everything or anything, for that matter, is anyone's business. But, nobody really cares that much about your relationship. Just saying. Stop making everything a spectacle, and start making private moments in a world where nothing is really private, or even valued.
And babe, if you're reading this.
I know you are.
I really want Mexican food, just in general.
Have a great Valentines Day,
But just know if you don't - stay off social media... just incase.
And if it's great, have a moment, just the two of you. Unplug.
Because me, and everyone else... well we don't give a f*ck.
xoxo
Carissa
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