Hi everyone,
It's been awhile... but ya girl had been busy, and then when I wasn't busy there wasn't much worth writing about. I know that in today's world we are all struggling with what to do with ourselves. Before the pandemic this was all looked at as a joke. I think that's how some of us are learning how to cope - it doesn't make us bad people, it makes us feel like we have some type of normalcy. That bad things aren't happening and we're living in our own temporary world, or maybe Hell. In the early stages I think it was easy for us to joke, to soften the blow - until it hit our country. Until we felt the aftermath of what had been going on for months without us even knowing it. It's mind boggling that one day you're living your normal stressful life, and the next you would do anything to have that all back.
We miss traffic, long hours at work, having a paycheck, dropping kids off at school, having this schedule where you never stop. Some of us have families, businesses, homes, bills up the ass, and live paycheck to paycheck. In this period of time we are all struggling either financially, physically, mentally, and/or emotionally. Many of us are starting to feel the effects of cabin fever, and how a walk down the street can no longer stop the depression. We've spent weeks trying to come to terms with this new life we're in... what to even do with ourselves everyday. We want to be out, we want to see people, we need to interact. But we need to realize, we will never get this time again... probably ever.
I know that sounds crazy - and some of you will probably be like f*ck off but think about it, even though this SUCKS, we won't have these moments again. As much as my family drives me crazy we're all getting older, and sooner than later we won't have this abundance of time on our hands. There will be a time where we will be so busy again... when we can't cook dinner some nights, go for a run, spend time painting, read a good book, start a passion project, write a letter, try something new. I will never have this again in my life where I have nowhere to be and I can't go anywhere at the same time. It almost feels like I'm 16 again, it's summertime, but all my friends can't hangout.
To the ones who have kids during this time, I'm drinking wine for you (I'm sure you're drinking too) and sending you prayers, CHEERS. I don't know how you do it, but you do.
I know many people are feeling the anxiety of this, the unknown. I've been trying to come to terms with the fact I can't control what is or isn't happening. I can't help the situation, so why make myself feel worse by worrying about something that can't be contained? The virus is going to do what it does and I'm going to stay home and do what I do. We will both live our own lives hoping never to cross paths. But in the unfortunate event we do, I'll figure it out. I will cross that bridge when I get to it, hopefully never. All we can do is this right now, live in a new normal where restrictions are real, but the possibilities can be endless. Do all the things we wanted to do when we worked 40 to 50 hours a week and couldn't find the time to do...
Start by making a list of tasks you want to do in general and things you want to do day to day. This way the day doesn't slip away and you feel unaccomplished and depressed.
These are the things I'm going to do:
- Rip my room apart/organize.
- Put winter clothes away slowly.
- Drink a gallon of water a day.
- Eat better.
- Workout 2 hours a day (run, HIIT, bike, hike, etc).
- Talk to at least one friend/family member a day - keep connections.
- Create activities and memories with the people in my own home.
- Designate time to be alone, decompress (yoga).
- If I stress out, I'm going to allow it - but then I need to TRY to let it the f*ck go (we can't control anything).
- Take breaks from social media, it's addicting during this time but not necessary to keep looking at it to the point you're consumed by it.
So far during this time:
- I have worked out, everyday.
- I have eaten cake, donuts, and ice cream (Jenna's Birthday).
- I have eaten healthy.
- I had a paint night with wine and edibles (Following a YT tutorial).
- I keep connections with people in-between my thoughts of anxiety.
- I try my BEST to see how everyone is doing, sometimes I fall short.
- I have had 37653865 mental breakdowns (It's allowed).
- I have started online classes again.
I just want everyone to know that what you feel is valid. You're allowed to be upset, just don't stay in that mindset. WE ARE ALL GOING THROUGH IT. Let it out and move on, because if you continue to be in that dark place where you think everything sucks - it will suck for you. If you continue to have a bad attitude this will continue to be the worst experience of your life, don't allow that.
Also, to all the men and women out there right now on the front lines, you are badass beyond belief.
So please try as hard as you can to just live in this moment. I'm trying to follow my own advice, HA.
We will never get this time again.
xoxo
Carissa
Comments